Getting Things For Free, Vol. 63: Pastrami & Corned Beef Wrap for Love

I went dancing with my best gal and her real best gal by which I mean my platonic best friend and her lesbian lover. It was swell. The dancing, the music, the lights, the… hunger. I was hungry. I hadn’t eaten since the evening previous. I wanted nothing more than a… corned beef and pastrami wrap with melted cheese… honey mustard dressing… and avocado substituted for grilled onions. Well, at least that’s what I discovered I wanted after we finished our dancing and headed on over to Daisy’s Diner. There, the lovers canoodled and I, famished, undone and heterosexual, stirred in my diner seat under bright diner lights, waiting, wanting…. for my best pal to announce angrily that she was going to pay for my sandwich since she knew I wasn’t going to pay for anything and would just sit there grumbling. So she bought me the New York Wrap for $6.95. Now that’s love. Platonic love.